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Hell

Recently I had a strange encounter with a woman in London. She screamed at me and a friend of mine. Loud and pretty nasty. She clearly had mental issues and she clearly needed help. But this is not about her. It’s about some words she yelled at us. „Fu**ing gays! You’re going to hell!“ was one of the nicer words she used that day. 

I heard things like that a lot before. Probably every gay man has. Still a long way to go. 

I am not a Christian. I am not religious at all. So I have no use for heaven or hell. But what if it’s true and there is heaven and hell?

I clearly don’t wann go to heaven. I’m afraid of heights. Plus... u only get to wear this little white skirt when you sit on your little cloud. And no socks. I never saw an angel wearing socks. It is fu**ing cold up there! Afraid of heights and cold feet for all eternity? No thanks!

Hell indeed sounds much more likeable. Since all gays r going to hell, I assume... this place is filled with gay guys. And it’s hot. U know what happens to gays when it’s more than 20 degrees? They r taking their fu**ing shirts of. Probably they r also a little sweaty then. Hell yes!

And also hell is a very dark place. U know what will happen when u put a bunch of shirtless gays into a dark place? Or a dark room if u wanna use that word. Well let’s say... probably they will pray a lot of things like „Oh God, yes!“. And now imagine those shirtless gay guys in that dark room can’t die anymore. Because why else would they be in hell? But really... imagine it... sweaty shirtless „immortal“ gays in a warm dark place. It means they can’t have any STDs anymore. Well that sounds like a party. And no bullying anymore because everyone is equal. They have nothing to worry about anymore. A save spot. For all eternity. Sounds like heaven.

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